14
Time and Again - Part 1: In The Beginning
Sunnydale High, Library – Tuesday 9th September 1997
"Wow! You met a real live god?" Willow asked her eyes wide as saucers, looking back and forward between Nevyn and Cordelia where they sat at opposite ends of the library table.
Nevyn merely smiled indulgently, but although Cordelia had pulled together much of her lost composure, she was still riding an emotional rollercoaster and her tone was a bit waspish when she answered the redheaded hacker. "Well duh! Nevyn had just threatened to slaughter his way through the temple's guards and priests right on his very doorstep. No Sumerian god was just going to sit and watch that happen."
Xander reared upright, opening his mouth to defend his friend, but the end of period bell rang before he could speak.
Jumping up quickly tugging on Cordelia's arm, Buffy announced, "I never thought I'd say this, but 'Saved by the bell.' Come on Cordy, we need to get to biology class." The warning glare she sent in Xander's direction made him close his mouth with a snap.
The two adults watched as the students departed. "Well, umm, I, uh, don't know where to start," Giles admitted, absently cleaning his glasses. "This is all so much to take in. Th-the time-scale alone. Coming four and a half thousand years into the, uh, future…"
"Hmm, maybe not. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that the portals don't just connect different points in space and time, but different dimensions as well."
"Alternative universes?" Giles asked. "A-are you sure?"
"Yes and sitting here in this library with all of you was one more proof."
"What do you mean?"
"I've seen this place and all of you before – as fictional characters in a TV show."
"On television?" asked Giles in surprise then looked thoughtful for a moment. "I do recall something called the, uh, Heinlein Conjecture…"
"Exactly!" Nevyn exclaimed feeling a little relieved. "Most of the places the portals took me matched mainstream history, but every now and again I would encounter something from fiction. Either a book I'd read or a TV show or movie I'd watched."
"So you're saying that Heinlein was correct and that what people believe strongly in one universe can become real in another?"
//Thank god for an educated audience. Explaining this to Cordy was much harder.//
"Yes! The many worlds principle is a generally accepted part of quantum theory. As is the fact that the observation of an experiment determines its outcome. From there it's only a small step to saying that something becomes real only when it is observed and then that imagining something can make it real as well."
"I'm not sure I'm quite ready to accept that," Giles said hesitantly.
"Well, think of it this way. Take all the demons, vampires and supernatural creatures you have to deal with as a watcher. Now you could say that the myths and folklore are vague distorted accounts of encounters with the real monsters. Or, you could say that centuries of belief in the myth and folklore by millions of people created a universe in which the monsters were real. Then a television show which built upon those myths developed a devoted audience who added a final shaping to this universe, giving rise to specific institutions like the Watchers' Council and to people like yourself and Buffy."
Giles still looked unconvinced. "I'd need some sort of proof. It's not that I doubt your sincerity," he added hastily, not wanting to offend his guest. "But this is rather a lot to accept on trust."
"Of course. Let me think about it."
Sunnydale High, Girls' Restroom – Tuesday 9th September 1997
Cordelia stared at her face in the restroom mirror. Their biology class had just finished and somehow it seemed natural that she and Buffy had drifted back to the restroom together.
"I can't do it Buffy."
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked with a cock of her head, from her perch on the counter beside the brunette.
Cordelia continued to stare into the mirror in silence for a long moment before finally answering the blonde with an emphatic gesture towards her reflection. "Look at me, what do you see? Do I look different to you?"
"I see you," Buffy answered puzzled. "You look sadder, but still the same Cordelia."
"How old do I look?"
Now Buffy was really confused, "You're sixteen. The same as I am."
"And that's what's wrong! I've been gone four and a half years. I'm twenty-one, but I only look sixteen. I haven't aged at all – and maybe I never will. I'm always going to look sixteen."
"And this is bad how?" Buffy's brow furrowed in bafflement.
"I'm never going to grow up. People will always look at me and see a child. How will anyone ever take me seriously? Respect my opinions? Trust me with responsibility? I should be half way through college by now, but here I am back in high school, trying to pretend that I still fit in."
The brunette was almost in tears again, but Buffy was at a loss as to how to react. //Isn't that what most people dream of? Perpetual youth, perhaps immortality. How can I, of all people, understand what Cordelia is feeling now? I'm The Slayer. I probably won't live all that much longer.// Now her gloomy thoughts were starting to make her depressed as well. //Hell, I'd be dead already if Xander hadn't resuscitated me. I just don't think about growing older. What's the point?//
"Must I pretend that nothing has changed," the brunette continued, tears welling up in her hazel eyes, "pull the mask back on and become Queen C again? I don't think I can do that. It's not who I am any longer."
Hopping down off the counter, Buffy pulled Cordelia into a gentle hug. Gently she stroked Cordelia's long dark hair as the taller girl's face burrowed into her shoulder. "You will find a way," she soothed, very aware of the caress of Cordelia's ragged breathing against her neck. "You're Cordelia Chase. You can achieve anything you set your mind to."
Her eyes glistening, Cordelia lifted her gaze to meet Buffy's and smiled sadly as the Slayer gently brushed a tear from her cheek. "Thank you. It…"
Just then the door to the restroom swung open and Harmony, Blue and Aphrodesia walked in. "Oh, my god!" Harmony exclaimed stopping so suddenly it looked like she had walked into a glass door. "I don't believe it! And with this freak!"
"What the hell do you mean Harmony," Cordelia demanded swinging around to face the trio of gawking girls.
"Well, I know you were feeling a bit down after breaking up with Pete, but come on, HER?"
"You're nuts Harmony! Cordelia was upset and I was comforting her," Buffy explained as Cordelia stood gaping at her 'friends' with her mouth working soundlessly.
Harmony smirked briefly at her companions. "Oh yes, we saw you 'comforting' her," she snickered making quote marks in the air in front of her as she said so.
The loud smack of Cordelia's palm striking Harmony's cheek shocked everyone in the room to silence and the three popular girls backed nervously away from the furiously trembling brunette.
"Harmony," Cordelia hissed through clenched teeth. "If you EVER breath a word of this hair-brained theory of yours to anyone else …" She left the threat hanging in the air between them, glaring at the trio of girls until one by one they dropped her gaze.
Grabbing hold of Buffy's hand, Cordelia practically dragged the blonde out of the room and down the corridor towards their next class. And it was fortunate for the three girls left behind that she did not see the speculative looks they shared after she left.
Back to Fanfiction main page.